The Great Leech Revolution

The dark power of the prank...

2009-08-11T07:43:00.000-07:00

The comments about this prank segue from "ha ha" through Godwin Land to a level of hysteria that a cheap five minute prank doesn't begin to explain.

I am of course a professional supervillain myself, and even I wasn't able to stomach reading all NINE PAGES of flames.

Can one of you professional comic artist defenders explain just what was so dire and evil about it. I mean, really, I could use the tips. Should I prank the Flash instead of siccing my hypervibrating superleeches on him?

Pig Wars

2009-03-20T07:26:00.000-07:00

Chris Bishop has a more regular publishing schedule than George Lucas.

And his characters are more realistic!

Her!

World Domination!

2008-07-03T04:56:00.000-07:00

When I added "World Domination" to my interests there was only one other blogger with that in their profile. Now there's over a thousand.

Now, folks, you know we can't all dominate the world, and I've already got a power-sharing agreement pencilled in with Kim Jong-Il (my fellow dictator). The rest of you will have to get another hobby.

Leechtroopers, ho!

2008-07-03T04:45:00.000-07:00

Chris Bishop better pull another strip out of his ass pretty damn quick if he doesn't want to find a whole platoon of leechtroopers on it.

Her and Pig!

2007-03-26T07:21:00.000-07:00

You started Her up again, and never told me, none of you ever said a word, I'm shocked, terrified, gobsmacked. Soon as my crack leechtroopers get back from Washington (don't ask) you're all going to be in BIG trouble.

Leeches on a fucking plane.

2006-03-29T11:24:00.000-08:00

They shoulda used leeches.

Leeches are way scarier than snakes.

Especially exploding ones.

What's your email address again...?

2005-10-31T16:47:00.000-08:00

So here I am again.

I forgot my password here, and so I went to blogger, hit the "recover password" button, and off it went sending mail to... who knows where. I never saw it.

So I turned around and checked my spam folders, and my spammer breeding ponds, and the leechmobile, and even looked under the couch I never move since the time Lex Luthor lost the drinking game with Brainiac. that's mostly what took me this long, I kept putting it off... for a supervillian the fellow can be awful dumb. You DON'T get into a drinking game with an android.

I survived. And either the bottle city of Kandor has a new suburb, or Luthor's "spillage" has forced a whole new level of evolution on the dust mites.

But leaving that aside, I finally had to go and set a sniffer on my mailserver to catch the packets from Blogger before they went into my mail system. I have no idea what I was thinking when I set up this account, but I found the address they use, and here I am... back again.

Crikey!

2005-03-31T04:21:00.000-08:00

Oi think oi been posessed by the ghost o' that Steve Irwin bloke. Wot? He ain't dead? But I saw it on the telly! He got bit an' they forgot ta use FedEx!

[Update]

And now he's really dead, while I was off in limbo fighting zombie pagans with Bob and a clockwork clone of Charles Babbage for a year. Which explains this snapshot Charlie took with his patented exploding steam powered daguerreotype.

I feel terrible, really I do.

Ghosts revisited.

2005-03-16T13:01:00.000-08:00

Just a quick note... the explosions in the breeding pools are NOT due to a chain reaction of leech ghosts setting off their ex-conspecifics. It's that damn superhero with the pyrotechnic abilities that my lawyer has asked me to PLEASE stop referring to as the human flashlight. He's figured out how to trigger the guncotton-laced myelin sheaths around the poor babies neurons.

Evil Spirits

2005-02-25T00:42:00.000-08:00

After Amanda's comment I decided to do a quick check for evil spirits, vampire ghosts, and other cockamamie supernatural creatures floating around my secret lair. No wonder the Good Guys have been able to sneak in so easily, it's like Times Square on the astral plane around here. It looks like most of my dead henchmen have been hanging about, and not only that but all the native spirits have been attracted by the unusual concentration of ectoplasm... it's like leaving your trashcan uncovered: next thing you know you've got stray cats in the kitchen and coons in the attic.

And of course there's at least half a dozen superheroes out there who can talk to ghosts.

Firecrackers only clear them out temporarily. I'm developing ghost-sensitive exploding leeches to scare them away automatically, but I've been having a problem with the leeches' own ghosts setting off chain reactions in the breeding pools.

I didn't know Sprint could do this...

2005-02-14T17:49:00.000-08:00

I really could have used this feature when I was escaping from the Good Guys flying fortress last year. Is it new?

No, come to think of it, I was on T-Mobile.

Creatures in my Head

2005-02-13T06:09:00.000-08:00

Actually, it's the creatures in this guy's head that remind me of my lovely swamp hideout, particularly this one.

Legions of Terror

2005-02-08T05:37:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how hard it is to recruit legions of terror when you live in a swamp. Especially when you're looking for sidekicks with real super powers instead of mere henchmen. I tried the henchmen schtick, equipped them with leech-enhanced weapons, and what happened? The Good Guys just take the leechbeam guns away and use them to bring me to what they call "justice"!

Is that fair?

Well, I guess it is in an ironic sort of way. But I'm going to do better, this time. Got one good candidate, interviewed well, and no goodie-two-shoes hero is gonna extract his spleen or wooba gland and use it on me, no sir.

Ow! My back.

2005-02-07T03:19:00.000-08:00

Don't let anyone tell you that I haven't suffered in the name of science.

I'll get these leech enhanced spinal implants working one day, Doc Ock will be green with envy. In the meantime, I learned a valuable lesson in trusting quaint old cajun gentleman and their rustic swamp therapies.

Ow.

Luckily I keep my vertebrae numbered.

On Being a President

2005-02-04T03:49:00.000-08:00

It amazes me how easily the presidency comes to the current pretender to the throne. It's not that he's grown into the job, but somehow he managed to shrink the job to fit his meagre abilities. I could never do that, people were always on my case about little things like my backyard wetlands diversification movement, or my leeches-for-tots program. What did I do wrong? Did I push the envelope in the wrong direction? Please help me, people, I'm desperate.

The voices in my head.

2005-01-15T05:44:00.000-08:00

Dear Diary: it's been a while since I wrote to you, and there's so much to tell.

I discovered that leeches provide excellent lubricant for slipping untracably out of tracking cuffs, thanks to my slight build and delicate bone structure. The fractures in my ankle bones are healing nicely, and I hear that do-gooder Termiteman was halfway to Patagonia before he managed to break out of the shipping crate.

While I was in the Good Guys flying prison, my new cannibal maintainance leeches eliminated the termites in my secret lair, and provided a useful object lesson to any others of my elite guards who might decide to accept a bribe from a Hero or even a competing criminal mastermind.

Life is good.

An accidental blog

2004-09-18T10:31:00.000-07:00

The Great Leech Revolution has apparently created a blog for itself. I didn't intend to create a blog, it just happened as a sort of side effect of posting a response to someone else's blog. Apparently registering, so you can put your name on a response, makes you a full brlown blogger.

Cool.

I suppose I'll post occasional comments on Her, the Great Leech Revolution, new developments in prosthetic limbs for invertebrates, and other things near and dear to my heart.