The voices in my head.

Dear Diary: it's been a while since I wrote to you, and there's so much to tell.

I discovered that leeches provide excellent lubricant for slipping untracably out of tracking cuffs, thanks to my slight build and delicate bone structure. The fractures in my ankle bones are healing nicely, and I hear that do-gooder Termiteman was halfway to Patagonia before he managed to break out of the shipping crate.

While I was in the Good Guys flying prison, my new cannibal maintainance leeches eliminated the termites in my secret lair, and provided a useful object lesson to any others of my elite guards who might decide to accept a bribe from a Hero or even a competing criminal mastermind.

Life is good.